Wow, what a master criminal we’ve got here. Nobbie Lee Dubose the third, clearly a criminal genius, decides his big move is to rob a Speedway gas station by locking the door like that’s gonna solve all his problems. Brilliant. Real Ocean’s Eleven stuff.

Then, because one terrified clerk wasn’t enough of a thrill, he decides to kidnap a random 45-year-old customer at gunpoint and steal the guy’s own car. Because nothing screams “I’m a criminal mastermind” like kidnapping someone in broad daylight and driving around in their car.

And get this — while he’s playing chauffeur, his hostage just casually dials 911 and starts narrating the entire route like a sightseeing tour. “We’re on this street, now we’re turning here…” The dude’s basically live-streaming his own kidnapping and Nobbie has no clue.

Instead of ditching the stolen car or laying low, our genius circles back toward Smithfield like he’s running errands. Cops pull him over, game over. No chase, no shootout, just a polite traffic stop.

So to recap: locks the door like it’s Fort Knox, kidnaps a guy who turns out to be the world’s calmest 911 operator, drives in circles, and gets arrested in the stolen getaway car. Absolute criminal royalty. Want me to keep going with another one?